Five ways to enjoy AFL grand final day if you don’t watch football

While everything from sausages to cars turns blue and gold in WA, it feels like everyone is getting into some version of grand final fever ahead this week.

But, for Poms like me who’ve failed to grasp the idea of points for missing, Aussies who’ve grown up with the round ball game or Dockers fans who’d rather pretend it’s not happening, this weekend is like any other.

While it’s always gracious to cheer on the local team, if you’re someone who’s as indifferent as we are about the national sport, here’s how you can make the most of grand final weekend away from the television.

Go to Bunnings

Everyone knows Bunnings is the very definition of bedlam on a weekend. On Saturday you should be able to waltz straight into a parking spot next to the door, get first dibs on the sausage sizzle and get to the checkout in record time. By Sunday, it’ll be back to queueing to get into the car park. Saturday is a good time to get a head-start on your weekend project.

Drive down south

This might be the only weekend in Perth history when the Kwinana Freeway between Russell Road and Berrigan Drive won’t be congested! If you’re planning a school holiday trip to the South West, you’re almost guaranteed a traffic-jam-free run and could almost be sipping wine in Margaret River by full time.

Go to the hairdressers

Hair and beauty salons always seem to be the toughest places to get into in a hurry. Hairdressers are already struggling to fill their usually busy appointment books this weekend and the phones certainly won’t be ringing hot by Saturday lunchtime. While everyone else’s down the pub, you could be well and truly pampering yourself.

Get outdoors

Perth is at that wonderful time of year between big coat weather and sweltering heat. With Perth forecast an overcast day and 26C, it’s the perfect weather to go out for a hike or a walk on the beachfront. Any keen cyclists should be able to avoid any run-ins with motorists Saturday afternoon.

A winery lunch

While you may want to call ahead to check there aren’t any impromptu grand final screenings planned, the wineries will be blissfully peaceful on Saturday. A long lunch, with the waitstaff to yourself, away from the cheers of football fans, could be just the way to escape finals fever.