Two Pommie Sheilas: The myths about British people in Australia

When a dinky-di Aussie first meets a Pom you can pretty much script how the conversation will go.

It’ll start with a quip about the weather — “hot enough for you?” or “you’d be used to all this rain, wouldn’t you?” — then there will be an inquiry as to how the English cricket team is holding up without the Ashes, possibly a quip about how pasty-white the poor Brit is, or the temperature of the beer they’re drinking.

But most stereotypes about Poms are actually myths. I mean, is there anyone on earth who truly loves queuing?

Over the past few weeks, readers of this newspaper would have seen many of our colleagues busting the myths that abound in their fields of expertise. As experts in all things Pom, we felt we should do our part. So here are our top Pom myths busted wide open.

Myth: Poms are always polite.

Fact: We can be as rude as anyone else, more so, actually. It’s just we’re somehow able to cover that we’re being rude with “sirs”, “madams” and “I’m terribly sorry, buts”. And the posher you sound, the easier it is to be rude without people noticing at first glance.

Myth: We drink warm beer.

Fact: Well, sort of true, but only ales, which shouldn’t be chilled but rather room temperature. Granted, the English room temperature is a bit cooler than WA ... and we drink lager just like you: cold, freezing cold.

Myth: Poms move to Australia looking for “Britain in the sun”.

Fact: There are undoubtedly some Poms who congregate together drinking Carling and watching Corrie, that’s not the case for most of us. You’ll often hear people say they moved here “for a better life” — and it’s true. If we really were just moving abroad to find a hotter version of home there are many sunny places in Europe which don’t cost us 20-odd hours and a 600-quid plane ticket to get to and from.

Myth: Pommie food is just deep fried stodge.

Fact: You won’t see us giving up our fish and chip suppers in a hurry, but there is great British food out there. Spotted dick might sound like a medical condition but cover it in custard and it’s up there with the pavlova as one of the best fruity desserts you’ll have. Speaking of pavlovas, the Eton Mess is our version and is laden with fresh fruit. Trifles, scones, the list goes on. We do desserts like no one else. We need something to accompany all those cups of tea, after all.

Myth: Brits all move to the northern suburbs.

Fact: This is pretty much spot on. Census data from 2014 shows 17 of the 20 most popular areas for British migrants are towards the end of the Mitchell Freeway and beyond.

They include Jindalee, where 43 per cent of residents are Brits, Mindarie, which is 34 per cent Pommie and Connolly, where a third of residents are Brits. That said, don’t discount the outer southern suburbs. Safety Bay and East Rockingham also made the top 20 list of Perth suburbs favoured by Brits.

Why? We reckon it’s pure value for money, you can get the Aussie dream of a house with a pool for much less than the price of a flat in the city.

Myth: We believe a cup of tea can solve anything and everything.

Fact: Nope, we can’t debunk this one. It’s true. Tea is life… and ta, we’d love a chocolate Hob Nob.

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