Two Pommie Sheilas: We’ve ‘gone soft’ as British visitors lap up our chilly mornings

Most of us Brits arrive in Australia hoping, eventually, to blend in and adopt a little Aussie culture. The first test of whether we’ve managed it comes when the first British rellie decides they want to make use of our spare room.

Jet-lagged and whiter than a new pair of Reeboks, they wake the whole house up at 5am, boom through the patio doors and lie, shirt off, in the morning sun. This is exactly what my brother did on his last holiday to Costa Del Innaloo.

When we asked him what the flipping ’eck he thought he was doing getting us all up at this ungodly hour on our holidays, this was his reply: “I can’t believe you’re all still in bed.

“It’s red hot! I’m making the most of the sun before it goes in.”

And that’s the thing, isn’t it? As we new Perthies know, once that orange orb appears, it’s sticking around all day, every day for most of the year.

And, for us, 15C was anything but “red hot”.

While my brother was up at sparrow’s fart lapping up some rays in his boxer shorts, my Aussie husband and I were one gust of wind away from digging out the beanies and big coats.

In the words of our Yorkshire visitor, we’d “turned into soft Aussies”.

Right now, with temperatures almost at parity between Britain and Perth, lifestyles will tell two very different stories.

Changing an accent and learning to barbecue might take years but, according to scientists at the University of Iowa, it doesn’t take us foreigners long to acclimatise and get used to the heat.

“Acclimatisation usually occurs over a period of about two weeks in healthy, normal persons. This process is faster in response to heat but slower in the cold,” the university says.

Two weeks! That’s all it takes for some of us to “go soft” and swap flip-flops for ugg boots.

Which explains why British holidaymakers are caught roaming Hillarys boat harbour in little more than a pair of swimmers, while their ex-pat hosts wrap up in everything from the Kathmandu sale rack.

It’s why my visitors will be “sweating cobs” in the backyard, while I’m looking for the nearest patio heater.

Right now, with temperatures almost at parity between Britain and Perth, lifestyles will tell two very different stories.

Brits will be savouring ciders in beer gardens, while coffee shops in Perth are still doing a roaring trade.

Chimneys will still be smoking on a night in WA, while back in Blighty it’s flip-flops down the Co-op and the last hoorah for the disposable barbecue. My family in Yorkshire enjoy an average of just 1416 hours of sunshine a year — or about 12 hours sunshine a day for about four months — while we revel in a wonderful 3212 hours, or nine whole months — and it rarely throws it down in between.

Put simply, we get a summer, they barely get enough to avoid drying their knickers on the radiator.

Going “soft” is OK when you know there’s a summer coming — and it won’t be long before the tables turn in our favour.

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