Anxiety Aunt: Help! My wife and I were sprung in a fit of passion and we don’t know how to address it

Dear Aunty, Times have been tough lately for my retired wife and I, and in a bid to boost our finances and help a young person needing a place to rent, we took in a student. We are empty-nesters and he has the entire upstairs area to himself and we provide dinner each night. The arrangement has worked well and we thoroughly enjoy his company. However, recently there was a mix-up around his schedule and we thought he would be out all day, instead he came home to discover my wife and I in a compromising position on the couch. We were all left very red-faced and haven’t been able to look at each other since. In fact, he’s now spending most of his time out of the house and no longer joining us for dinner. We don’t want him to feel uncomfortable and also miss having him around so do you think there is a way for us to get things back on track with this young man? Or have we blown it? Yours, Embarrassed Dear Embarrassed, Goodness gracious me, Embarrassed, this is a family newspaper! We cannot publish letters about your scandalous pursuits in these pages. Making love to your own wife, in your own home — why, that’s simply outrageous! One was about to add in something about how you’ve offended your Aunt, who is an “upright member” of the community, but couldn’t finish typing the sentence without chortling. Of course, One jests! You may be a randy old devil but you’ve done nothing wrong. Indeed, your Aunt is rather impressed you still have the energy and inclination to indulge in a little afternoon hanky-panky. Were you watching one of those foreign films on SBS at the time perhaps? If so, One can understand how you might have got carried away in the heat of the moment — especially if it was a Latin production! Hold on, One is just turning on the fan because it’s gotten hot in here all of a sudden. But moving on, your home is still your home, Embarrassed, even if you have someone else living there, so don’t feel too guilty about what happened. Not that One is encouraging you to start shagging all over the place, mind you, but just know that you haven’t done anything wrong, per se. Rather it was just unfortunate that you got your timings wrong and were sprung doing the horizontal tango. One is sure you are not the only people who have been busted bonking. Indeed, it is not uncommon for children or adolescents to walk in on their parents doing the deed and having the image burnt upon their retinas for evermore. The advice One would give to you would be the same as the advice One would give to those parents who may have had that happen to them, and it is this: no matter how awkward it may be, the best way to get over this situation is actually to acknowledge what happened then move on. Most people aren’t fool enough to think that they were immaculately conceived so they know their parents got frisky at some point — they just don’t really want to think about that too much. And it would be the same for your lodger, who probably sees the pair of you as parent or grandparent-type figures (depending on the age gap). The poor lad is probably just a bit spooked but what happened and doesn’t know what to do with his feelings of discomfort. Your Aunt would begin by telling him how much you enjoy having him live with you and appreciate his company, particularly around the dinner table. Explain that you wouldn’t wish to do anything that would make him feel uncomfortable then mention the “couch incident” and explain that it was simply unfortunate timing on your part. Also state that while you are not ashamed that you still enjoy a passionate relationship with your wife, you know that in future you need to be more discreet to ensure something like this doesn’t happen again. And while your Aunt doesn’t want to impose boundaries on your amorous displays of affection, One would suggest you perhaps try to contain your exploits to the bedroom, just to be safe. Otherwise, carry on as you were, my good man. And long may you be able to rise to the occasion.